Some people dream of the white picket fence, a house with a yard, and 2 car garage.
Others couldn’t imagine living off of the water, without nature at their fingertips.
And some, like myself, dream in wrought iron and brownstone. A life where having a car isn’t necessary, and a coffee shop with in steps is required.
All of these “lives” are amazing in their own right, each having their perks and drawbacks… and all people dream differently. I recently had two eye opening conversations that had an impact on me.
I was speaking with a friend who is in the market for their first and “forever” home in the Midwest. She was talking about the school district, the athletics, the commutability, all of the perks of her community to be. And then she asked me “what are you going to do!?” regarding our city living situation I suppose. I was kind of taken a back and felt a sense of panic all at once. Am I doing something wrong? I couldn’t help but think (to myself) the whole time that she was talking about how I dread a search like that in our future, and is there something wrong with me if I never provide a suburban life for my child? So when she asked it kind of stung. I would be lying if I said I hadn’t had a similar rendition of this conversation before. It’s the natural progression (for some! not all) that once you have a baby and they turn one or two that you skip to the burbs. This time, I didn’t answer my friend on the spot and instead said “I’m sure we’ll figure it out!”.
Fast forward about a week later I was visiting my breast health doctor for my bi-annual visit and she was asking about Lenny and how we are settling into our new home. With the conversation with my friend still fresh in my mind, I chose my words wisely. I said “we are great but this move was only temporary, we will most likely leave the city when Len turns 4-5.” I wasn’t sure at the time where my doctor had raised her children but I knew that they have graduated college at this point. Seeing right through my response she touched my hand and said “we raised our kids in the city and I’ve never regretted it for a second!” She told me she recently moved outside of the city and how much she hated it, and how she is currently plotting to get her husband to agree to move back. She then told me a funny story of when she once took her daughter to a friend’s home in Wellesley (Boston suburb) and her daughter marveled that “they had a park at their house!” because they had a swing set in their back yard 😂. But she said that her daughter and son never once as they got older asked for a yard or larger house. Finally, she said “kids love what they have, they can’t miss what they don’t know”.
I left my appointment feeling like 2 weights had been lifted off my chest! It’s usually just one- lol. It’s crazy how the universe steers these sort of conversations your way just when you need them.
So, what am I going to do? Well, I am going to do what’s right for our family. Living in close proximity to work and Lenny’s school is so very important to us. We never want to be more than a 15 minute commute from one another. Raising Len in the city where he will be exposed to different cultures, languages, art, cuisines, faiths, and all walks of life. I’m going to live my best life 😉 or let’s say dream life. This is a decision we will revisit many times I’m sure, as the world changes and we grow. I refuse to give in to the pressures that modern society pushes on us. Where success is measured by what kind of car you drive and how big your house is. Neither of those things are even on our radar..🤷🏼♀️
A saying I heard once that I like to share is- enjoy life now, this is not a rehearsal!
Do what makes you happy! And never ever apologize for it.
Another oldie but goodie…
“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.” ― Henry David Thoreau
That’s what I’m going to do.
PS I love my friend and she was the first to read this post!
PPS My doctor is the best and if you’re in the market for breast health surveillance due to an increased risk for breast cancer feel free to PM me for her info.
PPPS another quote I saw recently that inspired me…
My little city boy.
and these just because the Public Garden is beautiful right now. We’ll take it over a yard any day… and Len agrees! He loves his squirrels and ducks <3.